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I am always reminded of the line from a Jerry Seinfeld episode where he discusses the fear of public speaking. In the episode, Jerry shared that most folks fear public speaking more than death itself. According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.
While most folks I ask disagree with Jerry’s position, and the research is shady, all of those same folks agree that confidence is difficult, and speaking in front of an audience is nauseating.
Here are my tricks; these are all assuming that you have the content and context right.
Dress to impress
This to me is the most violated rule. It is difficult to debate against the positive value of being well-dressed, so why do we neglect it? We do because we assume exterior focus could seem shallow. Do not steer yourself into this thinking, if you are struggling with confidence, it is paramount that you dress to impress. Save the unshaved and shaggy look for when your confidence is high, and your content is killer. When you look good you feel good, and when you feel good it is easier to be confident.
Get your Body English right
Usually I can tell from someone’s posture, and their positioning on the stage or conference room if they are afraid. Step out from behind the things that you can hide behind, walk around the room, and stand straight and square. When your physical body tells the brain that it is not longer afraid, your brain messages to your mouth that its time to sound confident.
Know your weight class
Great speakers always ask themselves – “am I punching in my weight class?” You must be aware of your level of expertise relevant to the audience, if there is an expert in the room, tune your presentation to be aware of the heavyweights in the room. If you can tune your presentation to the room, you can be confident that you are not punching above your weight.
Serve the audience
Great presenters present “for the room” not to the room. Confidence falls when we feel that we are presenting ourselves “to” an audience. Confidence can rise when we tell ourselves and the audience that the cause of the presentation is “for” them. Start with saying “some of what we discuss today you will already know, some we would have known but can place and frame them differently in our heads, and some I am hoping it is the first time we are discussing them”. This is fundamentally different from saying “here is the agenda I am presenting TO you guys and gals”. When you serve the room, they will have mercy on you and you can feel confident. When you present to the room, they will adopt a critical stance from the get-go, and you will feel unconfident.
Some of what we discuss today you will already know, some we would have known but can place and frame them differently in our heads, and some I am hoping it is the first time we are discussing them.
Don’t listen to the voice in your head
Dr. Ivan Joseph spoke at TEDxRyersonU on the mechanism of confidence. He discussed at length the need for self-reinforcement. At the core of his message he described the “voice in our heads” suggesting that we need to train the voice in our heads to provide self-reinforcement. The power of positive thinking is largely disputed, but from first hand expertise I can share with you that if you tell the negative committee in your head to sit down and shut up, it helps put that pep in your step when you are on stage. At a minimum you don’t have to tell yourself positive things, but you must ask the negative committee that meets in your head right before you present, to sit down and shut up.
Practice, practice, practice
I think this one needs no explanation. The more you practice, the more confident you become. Anyone who tells you any different is not operating at his or her optimal level. Think about that golf swing.
Be a sentiment mirror
Performers (not necessarily presenters) will tell you that there is an energy in the room that you can feed off of. I completely agree, in addition; the room can feed off of your energy. Confidence is built when the room is rooting for you. Most of the times, great presenters feed the room with an energy that encourages the room to root for them. For example, I have had the opportunity to meet Bill Clinton twice, when he walks into the room, he channels an energy to everyone where you desperately want him to succeed. So think about the energy you are sending, because the room will reflect it, and with the right reflection they can help you be confident.
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