Be honest. What priorities are you lying about?
We tell a fuck tonne of lies. It’s almost our reflex action, to bullshit and to fake it. We lie about everything.
From the things we eat to the things we choose not to eat, what we did on the weekend (when Netflix in sweatpants becomes “drinks with friends”) and the exercise we do.
You know what I’ve come to realise more and more? We lie about our priorities. We lie about our priorities constantly, depending on whom we’re talking to. If we’re talking to our family, we’ll tell them that they’re our top priority.
Priorities Matter
If we’re talking to our employees, our investors, our collaborators, our coaches — it’s a different story.
So what we’re really talking about isn’t our priorities at all. When we only hold those priorities for others, and shift them according to whoever we’re trying to impress, they’re nothing but thin air.
The question is, outside of everyone else, and just for you alone…what are your priorities, really? And if you aren’t happy with them, what should they be?
The lie I always used to tell was that my priority was helping people above all else. And I slowly started to realise what a load of shit that really was. Because I do love helping people, and it is my North Star — but I know that my partner is far more important than that, and I’ll always choose her above anything else.
When we lie about our priorities, the hard thing is that the only person who really believes it is ourselves. We buy into our own bullshit all the time, and this instance is no different. It’s confusing as hell, and it stops us recognising what our true priorities actually are.
In Conclusion
You can’t live a measured, productive, happy life if you don’t know your true priorities, if you don’t know what’s actually important.
But if you can recognise them, and recognise their order, recognise them honestly and for yourself alone — you’ll have a better compass.
[This post by Jon Westenberg first appeared on Medium and has been reproduced with permission.]
